I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
