First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
accomplished twins. life is a go
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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