Buhtt sex?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
