it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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