you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
