You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
