suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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