i don't like sucking hair
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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