You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
