You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
