UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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