Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
