I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
