Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
