Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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