Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
