As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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