Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
