You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
