think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
