Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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