They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
