Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
