Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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