i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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