We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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