Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
