Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
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