So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
