Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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