It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
