we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
