didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
you had me at cake vodka
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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