There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
