Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
