remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
