winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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