Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Randomize
