Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
