so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
