This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
