Can Purell be used as lube?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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