i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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