Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
