Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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