you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
