I bet he comes in French.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm bleeding and have questions
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
