Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
