I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
