my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
